If you follow me on Instagram, you know that I recently resigned from my job to be at home with my children. The decision to do so came as my family was making a major move to Atlanta, GA which soon after we decided against. Nonetheless, my husband was finally in a position where we had a choice for me to work or stay at home. Since, the kids were on summer break the decision was made that I just stay home and enjoy the summer with them. It was not and still has not been determined if I will resume working once they go back to school. So why is this decision so hard to make?
When I was working full time in an Executive position that only allowed me 3 hours max per day with my children, I always felt so guilty. I constantly missed their mid-day school programs, was never able to be a "room mom" and was never 100% happy with the role I played as a Working Mom. The discussion of me quitting my job and staying home with my children was constant between my husband and I. Unfortunately it was not financially possible for us to do so at the time. One discussion I had with my previous Regional Manager, and now Mentor, has always stuck with me. She has two sons in college and not only was a Working Mom but heavily traveled as well. Her words of advice were "You will never be 100% happy with the time you have lost and what you are missing. Don't focus on that. Live in and be happy with the moments that you DO have with your family". While "mastering" this level of contentment probably takes time, it is the closest many working moms will get to feeling less guilty.
On the flip side, now that I am at home spending ALL my time with the family I don't feel fulfilled. While I am up and at it from sunrise to sunset, I don't feel like I have a real purpose. Working and bringing in money to the household seems so much more satisfying for some reason. What is with this all too familiar struggle? I guess if I had to choose, it would be staying at home that would make me happiest. The only guilt I have with that is to myself which is something I can live with.
But seriously, why does the grass always seem greener? Whether you're a Working Mom or a Stay-at Home Mom please weigh in. Have you felt this way in the past? What have you done to resolve your feelings?
I've been able to spend a lot of time with my daughter, along with working at home *and* outside the home. I think I'm the best when I'm able to do both, leaning more toward work for a good number of hours. I feel guilty if my attention is split or work focused when I'm with her. I do know the the time I spend with her is very rich and she almost my full attention the entire time. I just always hope it balances out.
ReplyDeleteAs a working mother I can identify with "working mother's guilt". I have a friend who is a stay at home mother, who enjoys being at home, but doesn't feel fulfilled. I have come to realize it's about balance.
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